This is kind of fucked, but often when I’m in public I’ll fantasize about suicide. I think about how I’d do it at that moment and what would happen directly afterwards.
It’s not anything I’ve seriously considered, it’s just kind of interesting to play out the scene in my head
an advice by 20-year-old Hunter S. Thompson
At this point in time there may be an advanced civilization on the brink of destruction somewhere in the universe. In another galaxy, billions of light years away. So far away that it is inconsequential to us and everyone else in the universe, but the fact that there is at least a tiny chance it’s happening hits me on the deepest level. It’s reaching the limits of my cognitive ability to comprehend it.
Somewhere, at this moment, an entire species much like mankind, is being eradicated by some freak cosmic disaster. Like us they had a vast understanding of the universe they lived in, and realized there could be other civilizations like there’s somewhere up in the night sky. The thousands of years they prospered as a peaceful society, the trillions of minds that were ever born on their homeworld, and the cumulative memory of every single creature that every experienced life on their planet. All of that is about to be destroyed, never to be discovered by anyone else. They will become ghosts. Atoms that once formed happy, loving and intelligent creatures, and the wondrous creations their civilization built to celebrate the universe, are now a whirl of exploding gas and fire.
No one will ever know. But I know that somewhere, far away, there is a chance that this is happening. Not only a chance, but a good chance. It’s likely to be happening. Like, real life actually happening. For reals. Fuuck. I’m blowing my mind. Sorry if it got you down, reading about a peaceful alien civilization dying. But for every one that is dying there are probably ten thousand that are being born, prospering, exploring the universe, sending radio signals to other stars.
Then there’s us. We’re pretty cool. It seems that we’re all alone, and the chance we’ll contact alien species in the next thousand years is still pretty much zero, and at the moment the majority of people wouldn’t care to listen about what I’m saying, but these things set me off on thought-adventures.
It’s like you’ve just noticed something strange but when you look closer there is nothing strange, just your average mundane event. And you get a feeling of hyper awareness, but it’s as though the system has briefly misfired and you wonder what really just happened for the next 15 minutes.